047: Not My Closet: How Betrayal Trauma Impacts Self & Body Image with Karen Bieman

Jodie Gale · Leave a Comment

In Not My Closet: How Betrayal Trauma Impacts Self & Body Image, Karen Bieman talks to us about betrayal trauma and the impact this has on the sense of self and body image of straight and non-trans partners in relationships with a closeted lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender person.

Karen is a registered therapeutic counsellor and coach, based in Australia, and working with grief, relationships and betrayal trauma. Karen’s work is informed by her lived experience as the wife of a closeted gay man for 24 years. Finding herself in a mixed-orientation marriage ultimately led to her work as a therapist and the founding of Not My Closet, where she provides counselling, coaching and advocacy for people going through a similar experience.

In Not My Closet: How Betrayal Trauma Impacts Self & Body Image, Karen also talks about:

What brought Karen to this work
Karen’s relationship song
When Karen’s husband told her the truth about being gay
Why Karen’s life felt like a lie
Karen’s life work
Disenfranchised grief
Why the betrayed partner is often silenced
Why you should never say ‘at least…’
Brene Brown Empathy versus sympathy
What are the types of betrayal trauma relationships?
Lies, deception and betrayal
Why the betrayed partner feels confused, used and angry
Shame, silence and betrayal
Homophobia and collateral damage
Conversion therapy and other solutions
What is intentional monogamy?
What happens to most couples?
Mutual respect is the ultimate goal
Gaslighting and betrayal trauma
Existential crisis and coming out
The impact on the children
The impact of the betrayal on the straight or non-trans partner
The impact on the straight and non-trans partner’s body image
Shame and body image
Using food, disgust as a coping mechanism
Yo-yo dieting and weight cycling is disordered eating
Dieting is an attempt to fix something that has never been broken
Object relations and primary attachment injuries
Post-traumatic growth – what is the symptom calling for us to awakening to?
Value, meaning and purpose
Anger and recovery
Fierce self-compassion – Kristen Neff
Self-sabotage versus self-love
Dating again and trust
Relational healing, therapy and support groups
Individual and couples counselling

Connect with Karen online:

To join Karen’s private Facebook group, email [email protected]

Sign up to be notified of Karen’s new membership for Not My Closet

Not My Closet Website

Not My Closet on Facebook

Not My Closet on Instagram

Connect Online with Jodie

Trauma Warriors™ Facebook page

Trauma Warriors™ Facebook Group

The Psychosynthesis Centre Facebook page

Opening the Door on Private Practice for Counsellors & Psychotherapists

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About Jodie Gale

Jodie Gale is the founder of TraumaWarriors.Online, host of the Trauma Warriors with Jodie Gale podcast, an Eco-Psycho-Spiritual Psychotherapist, Complex Trauma Expert, Mind Body Eating + Plant-Based Nutrition Coach. She is a leading specialist in women’s emotional, psychological and spiritual health and well-being. Over the last 20 years, Jodie has helped women to transform and heal their lives from complex trauma, disordered eating and the trance of unworthiness. She has a private psychotherapy, counselling and life-coaching practice in Manly, Frenchs Forest and Allambie on the Northern Beaches of Sydney, Australia. Jodie is passionate about helping women befriend, connect and nourish their whole selves: body, feelings, mind and SOUL!

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